Preparation for the Room of Procreation
by luvscharlie
Summary: Lavender Brown's mother wants to make certain she does not become a grandmother anytime soon. The Room of Requirement, however, is a temptation few young lovers resist. Ron/Lavender


_Preparation for the Room of Procreation_ by Luvscharlie

* * *

"I can't hear you! La-la-la-la-la." Lavender plugged her ears and continued to babble one long stream of "la's" as she made laps around her bedroom, then up and down the hallway in an attempt to shake her persistent mother. If she had known this would be waiting for her when she came home for Christmas holidays, she would have elected to stay at Hogwarts.

"Lavender Brown, you stop that this instant!" Her mother stamped her foot to punctuate her statement.

Lavender unplugged her ears for a moment. "I'll stop this, when you stop talking nonsense."

"A discussion about birth control with my daughter is not nonsense. I asked you a question. Are you having sex, young lady?"

"No!" Of course not… much… this week. With ears firmly re-plugged, Lavender recommenced her pacing. "La-la-la-la-la. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. La-la-la-la-la." _When I get hold of Parvati, I'm going to break her neck._ It was all done in a sing-song lilt, but she was quite serious about killing her best friend. It would be a shame, too, as she was going to miss cheating off Parvati's Charms homework. Still, there were some things best friends did not do, and telling her mother that she was dating Ron Weasley was one of those things.

It had only been the two of them, she and her mother, since her father left them when she was four. They certainly had a close relationship, all things considered. However, there were lines which can be crossed and lines which should never be crossed. This conversation was treading upon dangerous territory.

Her mother droned on. "I went to school with Molly Prewett. And if _this one's_ anywhere near as charming as his father was, Merlin—I don't even like to think about what will—"

"Mother! That is enough!"

It seemed not to matter that she was still in the room. Her mother appeared to be talking more to herself than to Lavender at this point. "Oh, it was all the scandal. A fertile bunch, those Weasley brothers. I admit I had a bit of a crush on Arthur Weasley, myself. How many children do he and Molly have these days? Have they made it an even dozen yet? You know why they had to get married, don't you?"

Though she asked the questions in rapid fire, in Lavender's general direction, she had no chance to reply.

"Oh, yes. It was no secret why they _eloped_. Madam Malkin's no miracle worker, you know? Not even she could hide a bump that big behind dress robes."

"Mother, I—"

"And Molly's mother trying to tell us all that the baby was just a wee bit early. A wee bit, my wand! That baby was two months old if he was a day, and them trying to pass him off as newborn."

Her mother had hit her stride and showed no signs of slowing down.

"Now make no mistake, hers was a pretty baby. But pretty baby or no, none of them are overly attractive when you've had two hours sleep and the little fiend is screaming its head off again in the middle of the night. You hear, young lady?"

Her mother insisted upon toeing that invisible line, and Lavender had given up fighting it. "No pretty babies. Got it."

"So, tell me about your young man."

_Parvati's death will be slow._ "I will not."

Undeterred, her mother pressed onward. "Is he handsome? When he kisses you, do you just want to melt into a puddle?"

_Not only slow, but dreadfully painful._ She went back to the only defence that seemed to have any effect. She went for the mature approach… again… and shoved her fingers in her ears. "La-la-la-la."

That night at dinner, the topic once again came round to men with the last name Weasley.

"You haven't told me, Lavender, is this young man of yours, what do you girls say these days? Hot stuff?"

This time, she would try a more mature approach. She would answer the questions honestly, but supplying as little information as possible. "Yes, Mother. He's quite handsome."

"Well, I've certainly seen that brother of his during my trips to Gringott's Bank. What a looker he is. Does your Don—"

"Ron."

"Don't interrupt, dear. It's rude. Does your Don look anything like his brother?"

"I wouldn't know, Mother. I'm not sure I've seen that particular brother. He has several as you pointed out earlier." She had, but once again, feeling it best to operate on the little information theory, she played dumb.

Her mother went animated at once. "Oh my." She reached over and patted Lavender's arm. "Sweetheart, he was standing in front of me at the counter, and I'm certain if I would have tossed a Sickle at his bum, it would have bounced right off. A fine, firm rump on that one."

"MOTHER! We are not having this conversation." Oh, how she wished she'd stuck her fingers in her ears again. To hell with maturity. There were some things a daughter simply did not need to know about her mother, and the fact that she had imagined the effects of bouncing a Sickle off Bill Weasley's arse happened to be at the top of the list of those things.

She would like to report that the rest of the Christmas holiday got better. However, it did not. Her mother was a persistent woman, and the topic of Contraceptive Charms was at the forefront of her agenda. Honestly, if her mother ever mentioned another rendezvous with Ron's uncle in the Owlery, she'd jump from Gryffindor Tower. There weren't enough _Obliviates_ in the world to remove that painful image now seared upon her brain. She shuddered at the thought.

Lavender had been forced to demonstrate the specific wand movements to correctly perform the charm, and been prodded, pushed and otherwise nagged into practicing the pronunciation of the charm (apparently her mother worried that a silent charm might not carry enough power behind it) until she knew it by heart.

* * *

Flopping down on her four-poster in the sixth year girls' dorm room, Lavender finally breathed easy. She'd never had such a trying holiday. A squeal from the doorway startled her.

"LAV! You're back."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Lavender focused her best glare at the bouncing girl in the doorway. "Oh, don't you 'Lav' me. How dare you tell my mother about me and Ron? Do you have any idea what my holiday was like?"

"Whatever are you talking about? You should know me better than that." Parvati stuck out her lip, obviously displeased that her best friend would think such a thing. "My guess is your mother read the diary you keep under your mattress."

"Impossible. She doesn't know where I keep it."

Snorting in response, Parvati sat down beside Lavender on the bed. "Everyone knows where you keep it. Deception is not something you do well, my friend." Alas, it was true. She was sort of a put-it-all-out-there kind of girl, having little practice at the art of deception.

With all of them coming back by Floo, this return from holiday was different than the others. She convinced Parvati to come down to the Common Room in search of Ron with her. She picked a chair closest to the fire and sat to wait….

And she waited…

* * *

She was dozing in the chair well after midnight when Ron and Harry came through the portrait hole. She saw rather than heard Ron say something to Harry and they parted ways at the stairs to the boys' dormitories. He closed the distance to where she sat with a couple of strides of his long legs. His lips curled up at the corner and he offered her his hand. She took it without question or words, allowing him to lead her back through the portrait hole and down the seventh floor corridor.

She knew where they were going; they'd certainly been there before. Three passes by and the door appeared. The Room of Requirement always looked the same when they entered it together: a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, a bed covered in red satin turned down to accommodate them, soft music drifting from the walls without the aid of a wireless. The candles were a necessity, but they always seemed to add to the romance in this room.

The door had only just closed and Ron was pressing her back against it.

"I think you missed me."

"Mm, I did," he said, kissing her forehead, cheeks and chin, then slipping his tongue between her lips. He tangled his hand into her hair tilting her face up to him and kissing her deeply. "Boy, did I miss you."

"So did I." She slipped beneath his arm to escape his hold; a game of rat and kneazle they played often. He chuckled and followed her to where she sat on the bed. "Can we not do this tonight? I'm rather exhausted. It's been a long day."

"Do what?" Her voice of feigned innocence made him laugh, a chuckle from deep in his throat that was terribly sexy.

"Please? Come on, Lavender. Give a bloke a break, eh?"

"How about a kiss? Would that make you feel better, Won Won?"

"You know how much I hate it when you call me that." Ron dropped back onto the bed, resting his head on his hands and staring up at the ceiling.

Lavender leaned forward and unbuckled his belt, tugging down his zip and kissing him just below his navel. "Really, Won Won? Even if I do this when saying it?"

He raised his hips and allowed her to tug down both his jeans and his pants, cupping his balls as she made eye contact. He swallowed hard.

"You still don't want me to call you Won Won?" Her voice was a whisper as she straddled his waist, her skirt bunching up as she leaned forward and kissed him.

"Funny, I forgot why I mind it so much at the moment."

"Mm," she said, rocking her hips against him. She used her wand to cast the Contraceptive Charm she now knew by heart.

"Where'd you learn that?"

"Trust me. It's a long story, that has to do with babies and, strangely enough, your oldest brother's bum and what my mother wants to do to it and—"

Ron held up his hand and grimaced. "Lav. Lav, that's far more information than I need." He pulled her down to him and kissed her, sliding his hand up her thigh. It disappeared beneath her skirt and pressed into the damp material of her knickers. "Yes, I think you did miss me."

Rolling her hips against his fingers, she raised herself to her knees pushing her knickers to the side. She felt Ron's hand slip between her folds, flicking and rolling her clit between his thumb and forefinger, just as she had taught him in those many, many hours of make out sessions on top of the Astronomy Tower, in the Gryffindor common room and between the stacks in the library, as she sheathed him in her heat. His finger continued to work her clit as she rode him, pinching and stroking with every downward thrust she made.

She was close; she arched her back and squeezed her tits, knowing what that did to him. He moaned deep, and yanked her down to him, then rolled her to her back and drove into her hard and fast. Ron's breath in her ear was hot, as he whispered things he only said when they were in this room; things that made her pulse race and her heart beat in double time. Those words sent her over the edge, and as her body spasmed around him, he found his own climax, nipping her neck and saying her name into a room that she felt certain had seen hundreds, thousands even, of lovers before them.

He rolled from her and pulled her close to him. "What are you thinking?"

"That if these walls could talk, imagine the stories they would tell."

"If they have anything to say about Bill's arse, I think I'd rather not know, if it's all the same to you."

She burst into giggles and snuggled deeper into the crook of his arm.

Fin.

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A/N: This story was my first for the Daily_Deviant site on Insane Journal. Our prompt was birth control.


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